Burping

The best teaching plans happen when you least expect it. Halfway through my Monday evening lesson, I was struggling to teach two seven year old boys adjectives. It was like trying to fill a sieve with water. These two kids, Shigeno and Yoshgey, were more content on making farting noises.
I used everything at my disposal to ram home the essentials of adjectives. I used flashcards of a 'big' whale and a 'small' mouse. I drew on the white board a picture of a young girl and an old woman. I even acted out the sound of a 'noisy' person by screeching at a high pitch. But I received no sign of understanding from the farting kids. I didn’t know what to do.
I scanned the room for any tools that could further my adjective teaching.
As I pondered to the sound of farting noises coming from the boys, I spotted that they were both drinking fizzy drinks.
"Can you burp?" I said to them.
They didn't understand the word 'burp' so I demonstrated to them with an almighty burp. I told them that what I just did was a 'big' burp.
They understood and laughed. "Big burp, big burp!" Shigeno bleated.
I asked them to do the same. They eagerly did so, repeatedly.
I deliberately goaded them for the sake of teaching them a new word and said, "You’re doing small burps."
They took offence of my judgement and reassured me they were doing manly big burps. I said this was questionable and asked them to deliver me a really big burp. I pointed to their drink bottles and said they could emit a thunderous burp if they drank from it. The two of them drank from their bottles as if they had been in the Gobi desert for a year, and proceeded to deliver epic guttural burps, which I'm sure could be heard from Tokyo. They both had a set pattern where they drank and burped, drank and burped. The stink of the burps wafted around the room and the ferocity of the burping alerted some of the students in the next room to peek through the window. What they saw was me waving my hands like a conductor, instructing the kids to make 'bigger' burps and 'smaller' burps whilst they duly obliged.
After ten minutes of consistent burping action from the boys, I took over proceedings and started to burp myself. I told them to say whether they thought my burps were big or small. Needless to say they nailed these adjectives and labelled each of my burps with the correct adjectives allowing me to feel confident that they had fully understood these important words.
Near the end of the lesson I told them to do a big big big big burp. Shigeno and Yoshgey took a deep breath and drained their fizzy drinks. Obediently they let loose a bloody big burp which caused each of their eyes to pop wide open. Something went wrong with Shigeno, though. He aborted burping mid way through, tensed his muscles, clasped his hands over his ass and ran to the toilet. Maybe I was a bit thorough with my burp-teaching, but at least he now knows the words "big" "small" and, possibly, "smelly poo."