Young Punks

My new Friday afternoon class consists of three excitable 10 year boys who could cause me a mental breakdown.
I greeted the little chaps and their mothers at the school and asked them to follow me to a nearby classroom. The mums asked if they could watch the lesson, and I said sure. They informed me that their sons were very nervous because it was their first English lesson in a new school. I said I understood and I would try to make the lesson fun and interesting. It looked like I had my work cut out because the trio appeared reticent and were hiding behind their mothers nervously.
I sat at the head of a small table and got the boys to sit down. The mums were sitting in the far corner of the room.
To kick things off I asked for their names. They provided it with hushed mumbles which proved too indecipherable to note down accurately. To combat this situation, I resorted to calling these kids either "Oi!"or "You, there."
I eventually found out their names were - Hirotaka, Naoya and Sho.
With the names out the way, I started the lesson.
I held up some animal flashcards and asked what the pictures displayed. They quietly responded with whispers. I tried to draw the boys out of their shell by making animal sounds and getting the kids to guess what I was mimicking. There were a few laughs from the kids as I mimed an elephant. I even received claps from the mothers who seemed to be having more fun than their sons. Satisfied with the direction of the lesson, the mums left the classroom with a flourish of waves and went downstairs to the coffee room. As the door clicked shut, a drastic change occurred. Hirotaka flashed a fiendish glance to Sho, who was sitting opposite him. Sho quickly nodded. On this signal, Hirotaka promptly walloped Naoya on the side of the head with the back of his hand. What was equally baffling was that Naoya laughed his ass off in response to this act of violence. The three of them then leapt onto the table as I was about to show them a picture of a badger and started to beat the shit out of each other.
My students had suddenly transformed into a pack of wild werewolves.
I broke up the scuffle and firmly told them to sit back in their chairs. Unhappy with my order, each kid blew a raspberry in my face, covering me with their frothing saliva. I threatened to call their mothers back into the room if they carried on behaving like the Sex Pistols. This seemed to have the desired effect and they all sat down, which was good. But they decided to sit down on top of each other on one chair, which wasn't so good. You can't exactly teach a lesson when two of your students are submerged beneath the ass of another student.
I was about to open the door and pathetically shout, "Mums!" when the young punks ran to their chairs and insisted they had calmed down and were ready to learn English. I waited a few moments in silence to judge whether or not they were bluffing with this assurance. I was wary about reading their facial expressions because earlier I thought they were a bunch of benign kids, not a gang of bloody lunatics - which they proved to be.
As silence reigned in the room, I felt confident to begin the lesson.
I showed Sho a picture of a frog and asked if he knew the name of the animal.
"Michael Jackson," he bleated, causing an uproar of howling laughter from the other two students.
I played along with Sho's quip.
"OK, supposing this animal's name is Michael Jackson. What animal is it?"
"A Michael Jackson animal," he said, struggling to contain himself.
Hirotaka was in hysterics and banged his small fists on the table. Naoya was equally pleased with Sho's wit and high-fived him.
The mums at this point decided to enter the lesson again and they looked with maternal pride as their sons were sitting silently with serene grins on their faces. The little brats had morphed into peaceful little chaps again. It was as if the carnage in the classroom had never happened. They were now the epitome of politeness. When I began the lesson again, each animal card was answered correctly without a single Michael Jackson remark. The mums nodded their approval and shuffled out again. As one of the mum's was closing the door she asked if the lesson was going well. I took this opportunity to speak the truth.
"Well, no. Each of your sons are insa-" and before I could finish, she waved a farewell to me and closed the door. As I stared at the closed door, I heard an almighty ruckus behind me. I turned to find the boys involved in a wild jousting fight, using upturned chairs as their weapons of choice. I packed my animal cards away and buried my head in my hands.