Farewells

With many of my students graduating, they are all saying goodbye to me. My favourite farewell was by the graduating students at Seneiji Elementary School. I liked it because it was bonkers.
At the end of the lesson, the kids formed orderly sets of rows in front me creating the feeling that I was a criminal about to be shot by a firing squad. They all began to sing a Japanese song whilst attempting to do a coordinated dance routine. To be quite frank, they were a mess. Half the class were singing a different tune to the other half and one dozy kid at the back wasn't singing or moving he was just staring up at the ceiling whilst picking his nose. When they finished their chirpy, but disastrous singing, I felt like a judge on a talent show and wanted to confess that they had no future in show business. But they tried and it was a nice gesture so I clapped vigorously at the end. There was an awkward silence after I finished clapping leading me to believe that I was meant to do something more. I wasn't quite sure what that was so I started clapped again, more vigorously this time. The Japanese teaching assistant at the side of the room told me to stop clapping and quietly conferred with the kids about something. He then reported back to me that they wanted to sing an English song but the only one they knew was inappropriate. What was he trying to say? That the kids knew a gangsta rap song? Intrigued by what this song was, I said the kids should sing it. The teaching assistant looked pleased and took out his guitar. Maybe it wasn't rap but an acoustic version of a Stooges song.



He strummed the opening chords and the kids started to sing Jingle Bells. The class singing a Christmas song in the middle of March didn't trouble me and I clapped along. Some of the class started singing the end verse in English, others were singing the beginning in Japanese and the dozy kid at the back was still staring at the ceiling picking his nose.
Thankfully the song soon ended and I wished the class good luck for the future and walked next door to teach my next class who were also graduating.
Their farewell surprise consisted of making a circle around my chair and singing head-shoulders knees and toes. It had been so long since I participated in this children's song that I forgot the order of the body parts. When it came to the ..." and eyes and ears and mouth and nose...," I got flustered and pointed at my ears instead of my eyes, my mouth instead of my ears and my knee-caps instead of my mouth. I couldn't keep up when they picked up the pace, so I started clapping along like an insane penguin, distracting their rhythm all the while.
With this activity finished, the kids arranged the chairs in a circle. One girl, who appeared to be the elected spokesperson of the class, formally asked me if I would like to play musical chairs with them. I cordially accepted her invitation and replied that yes, playing musical chairs would be most agreeable.


With the formalities out the way, the classroom door opened and in walked the guitar playing assistant teacher from the previous class. Did this guy get paid to teach or play guitar?
He took his seat and strummed the opening chords which sounded the same as his Jingle Bells intro. And sure enough, the kids started to sing Jingle Bells as they ran around the circle of chairs. I joined in the Christmas-related festivities and sang along.
I had forgotten how genuinely nerve-racking musical chairs was and momentarily forgot that I was about ten years older than my students because when the guitar strumming stopped I dived to the nearest chair as if my life depended on it. To make matters worse, I indulged in a bit of skulduggery as I pushed a little lad out of the way when he was about to occupy the chair nearest to me.
One by one the kids lost out to my dirty tactics, leaving just me and a girl called Mika, who possessed the same pathological competitive streak as me, to battle it out. The Jingle Bells tune was strummed out and we commenced our run around the solitary chair. We glared at each other menacingly and changed the pace of our run with the hope of rattling our opponent.
Mika was a worthy foe and it was hard to break that steely glare of hers.
The guitar stopped when I was positioned in front of the empty chair. Victory was mine as I positioned myself to sit down. But Mika snuck beneath me with the agility of a cheater and claimed victory. I had not noticed her quick movements beneath me and continued to sit down, little realizing I was about to sit on her small frame. The guitar teacher dropped his instrument and lunged forward, knocking me out the way before I crushed the little girl's head.